Chapter 3

"Stop sitting on me!"

"You want the beasts to hear you?"

"I want your knee off my spine."

His black mask hovered inches from my face. Snow packed the ridges of it. A strand of dark hair had escaped near his temple, stuck to his skin with melting ice. I could feel his breath through the narrow opening over his mouth.

Too close.

Way too close for the man who had spent the entire morning trying to break my ribs in front of the other recruits.

His hand tightened at my collar. Heat shot under my skin and ran straight down my chest.

Ronin noticed. Of course he noticed.

His eyes dropped to the metal band around my throat.

"You felt that," he said.

"I felt you crushing my windpipe."

"Lie better."

I shoved at his shoulder. He did not move. Not even an inch.

Behind him, something screamed through the whiteout.

The sound was wet and sharp. Not human. Not wolf. Too many lungs. Too many claws scraping over frozen ground.

Ronin turned his head.

I used the second of distraction to drive my knee up.

He caught my leg before it landed.

"You really want to die today?"

"Not by your hand."

"That can be arranged."

He twisted my ankle and hauled me upright. My boots slid through the snow. His grip stayed locked around my arm while the wind ripped at our coats.

Three shapes moved beyond the blowing ice.

They came low and fast, shoulders rolling, mouths open. Their fur was white except for the dark red crust around their jaws. One had a broken horn jutting from its brow. Another dragged a rear leg but still moved faster than any normal wolf.

I knew what they were.

Frostmaws.

The academy released them into the dead zone when it wanted recruits to disappear without paperwork.

"Give me the tube," Ronin said.

I stared at him. "What tube?"

His gaze snapped to my belt.

The dead courier's intel tube was strapped beneath my coat, hidden against my hip. I had taken it from the courier's frozen hand less than five minutes ago. If Ronin found it, the academy would know exactly what had been carried across the border.

"You have three seconds," he said.

"Go to hell."

"One."

"I said—"

"Two."

The first frostmaw lunged.

Ronin shoved me aside and drew his short blade. The beast hit him hard enough to drive both of them into the snow. White fur exploded across the ground. Ronin's blade flashed once under its jaw.

The creature dropped, twitching.

"Move!" he barked.

The second beast slammed into my side.

Pain cracked through my ribs. My boots left the ground. I hit a ridge of ice and rolled, fingers clawing at the snow. The thing snapped inches from my face. Its breath smelled like rotten meat and old blood.

I jammed my forearm under its throat.

"Get off me!"

The beast snarled and pushed harder.

My collar burned.

Not from the cold. Not from the academy's shock charge.

From him.

Ronin was fighting somewhere behind me, and the bond between us pulled tight like a hooked chain. Every hit he took traveled through my skin. Every sharp inhale punched into my lungs.

I hated it.

I hated him more.

The frostmaw opened its jaws.

A blade punched through its eye.

The body collapsed across my chest.

Ronin ripped the weapon free and grabbed the beast by its scruff. He dragged it away from me, then hauled me to my feet with one hand.

"Where's the tube?"

"You killed two monsters and that's your first question?"

"The tube."

"Ask nicely."

His fingers closed around my throat instead of my arm.

The metal collar buzzed again. My knees nearly folded.

Ronin leaned closer. "I am not in the mood to play with you, Vira."

"Funny. You always look like you're having fun when you throw me into walls."

His thumb brushed the pulse beneath my jaw. It was a small movement. Almost careless.

My pulse jumped under it.

His eyes sharpened.

"You keep staring at my hand," he said.

"I keep wondering where to bite it."

"Try."

The word came out low. Rough.

For one stupid second, neither of us moved.

Snow struck my face. His body blocked the worst of the wind. His chest was inches from mine, and his heat soaked through my wet coat. I could smell steel, blood, and the bitter smoke that clung to his gloves.

Then the third frostmaw charged.

Ronin shoved me behind him.

I hit his back with both hands. "Don't put me behind you!"

"Stay there."

"You don't command me."

"I do when you're about to become meat."

The frostmaw hit him from the side. Its claws raked across his shoulder. Black fabric tore. Blood sprayed onto the snow.

The scent slammed into me.

Ronin's blood.

My mouth went dry.

The bond ripped open from collar to stomach. Heat flooded my veins so fast my vision shook. My wolf surged forward, desperate and furious, begging to reach him.

No.

I dug my nails into my palms.

No, no, no.

Ronin drove his elbow into the creature's throat, but the beast clamped onto his upper arm. Its teeth sank through the armor beneath his coat.

He made a sound.

Not a shout. Not a groan.

A growl.

It rolled through the clearing and hit my bones.

"Ronin!"

His head snapped toward me.

The mask hid most of his face, but I saw the change in his eyes. The gray had gone darker. Nearly black.

"Run," he said.

"You're bleeding."

"Run, Vira."

The frostmaw shook him like a rag.

I snatched the dead courier's hatchet from the snow and drove it into the beast's side. It released him with a howl.

Ronin shoved it down.

I struck again.

The hatchet bit deep.

The beast stopped moving.

For half a breath, there was only the wind and our ragged breathing.

Then Ronin turned to me.

Blood ran from the wound in his arm. It soaked his glove and dripped from his fingertips.

His gaze fixed on my throat.

"Don't," I warned.

He took one step forward.

"Ronin."

Another step.

"I said don't."

His shoulders rose with a slow breath. His jaw flexed beneath the mask.

"Give me the tube," he said.

"Why?"

"Because if the search team finds it on you, they'll call it treason."

"They already called me a traitor before I got here."

"They'll execute you before sunrise."

"Then stop trying to scare me."

His hand shot out.

I ducked and drove my shoulder into his ribs. The move should have knocked him back. Instead, his arm wrapped around my waist.

"You are making this very difficult," he said against my ear.

"Good."

He lifted me off the ground.

I kicked hard, twisting in his hold. His grip tightened around my waist. The rough fabric of his coat scraped my stomach. My back hit his chest, and his injured arm locked across me.

The collar flared.

A pulse of heat went through both of us.

Ronin sucked in a breath.

I felt his mouth brush the side of my neck as he spoke.

"You felt that too."

"I feel every time you touch me."

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

Silence hit harder than the wind.

His grip changed. Not looser. More careful.

I could hear his heartbeat through his coat. Fast. Heavy. Matching mine beat for beat.

"What did you say?" he asked.

I elbowed him in the ribs.

He grunted and dropped me.

I landed on my hands, rolled, and scrambled backward. My fingers found something hard beneath the snow.

The intel tube.

I grabbed it and shoved it into my sleeve.

Ronin saw the movement.

He wiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "You stole it from the courier."

"I borrowed it."

"The courier is dead."

"Then he won't need it."

"Who sent you?"

"Nobody."

"Wrong answer."

"Ask a better question."

He crossed the distance between us in three strides.

I backed into a wall of ice. Its edge cut through my coat and bit into my shoulder. Ronin planted one hand beside my head.

His other hand closed around my wrist.

The tube pressed between us.

"You don't understand where you are," he said.

"I understand perfectly. I'm in a frozen killing field with a commander who likes putting his hands on inmates."

"You are not an inmate tonight."

"What am I, then?"

His eyes dropped to my mouth.

The pause lasted half a second too long.

My stomach tightened.

"A problem," he said.

"You keep looking at me like I'm something else."

His fingers tightened around my wrist. "Don't test me."

"You started this. In the pit."

The memory hit before I could bury it.

His masked face under red fight-pit lights. His fist at my jaw. My body pinned beneath him. The first burn of the bond when his teeth had grazed my shoulder.

I had thought it was a shock from the arena floor.

Then he had whispered one word against my skin.

Mine.

I had rejected the bond before the word finished leaving his mouth.

It should have ended there.

Instead, the mark had followed me into Frostwatch Academy.

"You knew," I said.

Ronin went still.

"You knew what I was to you," I pressed. "You knew before roll call. Before you put the collar on me. Before you made me kneel in front of the whole yard."

"Watch your mouth."

"Did you know?"

His jaw clenched.

That was answer enough.

I shoved at his chest. "You knew."

"Keep your voice down."

"Why? Afraid the recruits will hear their famous commander has a rejected mate?"

His hand slammed beside my head. Ice cracked behind my ear.

"Say that again."

"Rejected mate. That's what I am, right? The pathetic little exile who refused the great Ronin Varga?"

His face came close enough that his breath warmed my lips.

"You rejected me in a blood pit," he said. "You think that erased the bond?"

"It erased you."

"No. It made you mine to protect."

The words hit low in my body.

I hated the heat that followed.

"I don't belong to you."

"Then stop wearing my mark."

His fingers moved from my wrist to the collar at my throat. The metal was hot beneath his palm.

"You put this on me."

"The academy put it on you."

"You ordered it."

"I ordered it because Kyle wanted you dead."

The name cut through the heat.

Kyle Damon. Chief medical officer. The man who had signed my transfer papers and smiled while doing it.

"Why would Kyle want me dead?"

Ronin's eyes hardened. "You stole the tube. You tell me."

"I found it in a dead man's hand."

"And you hid it."

"Because Kyle's men were searching the body."

"What did you see?"

I looked toward the white wall of snow beyond him.

"A seal."

"Which seal?"

"I don't know. It was burned into the metal. Black wolf over a split crown."

Ronin's expression changed.

Not fear. Something worse.

Recognition.

I noticed. He noticed me noticing.

"Tell me what it means," I said.

"No."

"Tell me why the commander of Frostwatch is chasing a courier's tube."

"Because you will hand it over."

"Not a chance."

He reached for my sleeve.

I twisted away and ran.

I made it six steps.

A hidden trench opened beneath the snow.

My foot dropped. The ground vanished. I screamed as I plunged into darkness.

Ronin caught my arm.

His weight dragged him down after me.

We hit the bottom of the freeze trench together.

Ice slammed into my back. Ronin landed over me, one hand braced beside my head. His other arm wrapped around my waist to keep me from sliding farther into the narrow shaft.

The impact knocked the breath from my lungs.

"You okay?" he asked.

"You crushed me."

"That wasn't an answer."

"I hate you."

"Still not an answer."

"I'm alive. Get off."

He shifted, but the trench was too narrow. His thigh pressed between mine. His chest covered most of my body. Every movement dragged his coat across my stomach.

His blood ran warm against my side.

The collar burned again.

This time, the heat did not fade.

It spread in a circle around my throat, then raced down my chest. My fingers curled into his coat.

Ronin looked at my hand.

"Let go," he said.

"Move first."

"I can't."

"You dragged me down here."

"I caught you."

"Nobody asked you to."

"You want me to let go?"

I opened my mouth.

No sound came out.

His breath brushed my cheek. His eyes stayed on mine, dark and sharp behind the mask. The bond pulled at my ribs, urging me toward him.

I had rejected him.

I had rejected him because the mate bond did not make a cruel man safe. It did not erase blood on his hands or the academy's chains around my wrists.

But my body did not care about any of that.

It wanted his heat.

It wanted his blood.

It wanted the mouth hidden behind that mask.

"Say it," he murmured.

"Say what?"

"Tell me to let go."

"I already did."

"Not like you mean it."

I shoved against his chest. "Move, Ronin."

He did not move.

"That wasn't hard to understand."

"It was clear."

"Then get off me."

His eyes dropped to my lips again.

"You don't want me off you."

My face heated. "You're full of yourself."

"Your pulse says otherwise."

"My pulse is trying to survive your weight."

"Your pulse changes every time I touch you."

His thumb slid along my side, close to the torn seam of my coat. The contact was barely there, but my back arched anyway.

Ronin felt it.

His breath stopped.

The wolf inside me pushed hard against my skin.

"Don't," I whispered.

"You keep saying that."

"Because you keep doing it."

"You could stop me."

"You know I can't."

His gaze lifted to mine.

For the first time since I had met him, the commander looked uncertain.

Then the wind above us carried a fresh scent down the trench.

Blood.

Not Ronin's.

Mine.

I looked down.

The frostmaw's claw had torn through my coat near my collarbone. A thin line of blood ran beneath the metal band.

Ronin saw it.

His pupils widened.

"Don't look at me like that," I said.

"Like what?"

"Like you're starving."

His jaw shifted.

"I am."

The answer came out raw.

My breath caught.

He lowered his face. The edge of his mask brushed my cheek. His hand slid behind my neck, holding me still without squeezing.

"Ronin."

"Quiet."

"If you bite me, I swear—"

"You swear what?"

His mouth hovered over the wound at my collarbone.

Heat rolled from him. His fangs pressed lightly into my skin.

The bond exploded.

Gold fire raced from the bite point through my veins. It shot across my chest, down my arms, and into the hand gripping his coat. Ronin jerked as the same light flashed beneath his skin.

I cried out.

He clamped his palm over my mouth.

"Don't make a sound."

His fangs stayed against my skin.

Not cutting.

Not yet.

The gold pulse beat between us, once, twice, like a second heart.

I could feel every inch of him. The hard line of his body. The heat trapped under his armor. The rough edge of his breath against my throat.

"You marked me in the pit," I whispered against his palm.

His eyes held mine.

"No."

"You said mine."

"I said your name."

"You said mine."

The corner of his mouth tightened.

"You were bleeding."

"You knew exactly what you were doing."

"I knew enough to keep you alive."

"Why hide your face?"

His fangs pressed a fraction deeper.

Pain flashed white behind my eyes.

"Because if you see what I am," he said, "you will understand why they sent you here."

"Who sent me?"

He did not answer.

The wind screamed over the trench.

Then boots struck the snow above us.

One pair.

Then another.

More followed, heavy and measured. Searchers. At least six.

A man's voice carried through the whiteout.

"Spread out! The blood trail ends here."

Kyle.

My body went rigid.

Ronin's hand covered my mouth harder.

I pushed against his wrist. "Kyle found us."

"I know."

"He'll kill me."

"Not if you stay quiet."

"Your soldiers are looking for us too."

"They're not mine."

The answer came too quickly.

I stared at him.

Above us, Kyle shouted again.

"Commander Varga! We know you're in the trench. Step away from the prisoner and let the medical team take her."

Ronin's fangs remained half an inch above my open vein.

His eyes turned black.

I felt his arm tighten around my waist.

"You heard him," I whispered. "They want me alive. Why?"

Ronin lowered his mouth closer.

"Because they need what is in your blood."

The boots stopped directly over our heads.

Snow sifted down into the trench.

Kyle's voice dropped, calm and cruel.

"Commander, if you have already tasted her, you know the truth. The girl isn't just carrying the courier's secret. She's carrying your—"

Ronin's claws broke through his gloves.

He pressed one finger against my lips.

"Don't move," he breathed. "Don't breathe. If they hear you, I will have to—"

A blade scraped over the ice above us, and Ronin's fangs lowered toward the open vein at my collarbone as Kyle finished, "Open the trench, or we tell her what you really are to her..."